Monday, August 25, 2014

A tiny nap wouldn't be so bad...

Been a total battle lately. Health-wise I am what you would consider "a picture of good health". My MS is hanging on great! In "MS" circle talk, anyway.... Do we have a circle? Communities, Yes! But actual an circle? I'll continue...
 I have been trying to exercise every day. I set an alarm and say I'll exercise then! Only to hit snooze and tell myself it's a better idea to do it after work, less likely to injure myself! The work day ends and driving myself home seems to be the actual accomplishment. I actually feel relieved I made it into the driveway without adding an insurance claim to the route. Not because I'm a bad driver (reserve all comments- not that I really get any in the blog world- wonder why that is?) Anyway... I make it, and proceed to the house! With the Florida heat it has been tough this year. Seeking A/C shelter and rest is about the quickest move I'm making. AND my shoulder has been this constant source of pain since November but really kicked it into high gear in January. I mean really, are you suppose to be in pain just sleeping? Totally wrong!!! So I have spent much of my time going back and forth to Dr.s and physical therapy trying to get some kind of relief. My favorite statement... " well, you are already taking... (a medication FOR treating [name something associated with my MS] and that's a pretty high dose" Really? No kidding! I take that EVERY DAY because otherwise I wouldn't walked in here. I have taken it in climbing steps now since I was dx in 2004 [10 years mathematicians!]. Do you Mr. Medical genius know what happens to a person after several years of taking something? Yep, that's right! It doesn't work! Heck I took something that straight had me looking at throwing myself straight down a flight of stairs. I totally see how Robin Williams "happened". Very sad! So yeah, today, right now, this very minute, when asked on a form to describe my "health", I'm good. Ask me this afternoon, when my drugs have worn off and I have to drive home, and my daughter wants to do something "sports" related, and my husband thinks dinner should be on the table cause I managed to get home first, and my son needs my time for school (its open house after all), and the dogs are upset cause I am ignoring them, and the iguanas & bearded dragons are pacing because I walked into the room but didn't give the "proper" love the wanted (and they probably need fed too)... sure... I'm good. By neurology measures. No new lesions. But I am exhausted! So what measures should we go by when people ask?

We live in a world where its "weak" to be anything but "ok" or "good". And I am, health-wise. I am very grateful. I just think, there's nothing wrong with wanting a nap!