Saturday, March 31, 2018

Optic Nerve check-ups

Eye appointments are supposed to be a routine part of life. Well add MS and the word routine begins to mean nothing. I celebrated too early today at my appointment today. No changes in my prescription!! It was awesome! Then came the dilation part of my exam. Looking at my optic nerves, not only has my right one gotten worse but now my left one is showing signs of issues.
It was such a blow! I had my MRI on my birthday and I haven't gotten the results and now I don't feel so good about it. My medication seemingly has been working. So this just breaks my heart!!

Monday, March 5, 2018

Allergies, MS- What's next?

Going to the Dr is a pain in the butt for any reason. Add having to list off the names of medications you take (and spell them), it becomes a 3 ring circus. What is that for? I have never heard of that? What is the dose? And my personal favorite- I can't find that in the system, could it be something different? I literally have a piece of paper that has my 7 prescriptions (and 2 as needed) written down. Then I have a drawer of "just in case" meds. Yes, that is truly a life of "Behind the Scenes". Every time something comes I fear the looks, the questions, the judgment. But I have been rather fortunate. Maybe its my attitude. I know shocker- right? I am quick to defer to the Dr anytime they want to recommend something. Case in point, my continued struggles with my chest, cough, sinuses. Going on week 5, following Dr.'s orders my husband woke me up after a night of pretty much no sleep, (at that point I had slept 30 minutes), to go get a chest x-ray. With pneumonia ruled out (thank God) the focus went back to my allergies. I swear, as the years have gone by I have become more and more sensitive to things, foods, pollen, etc. Having been to the allergy doctor and lit up like the 4th of July during testing, I really didn't want to just jump into shots. But after this past several weeks of misery, I'm over it. I just really hope that it will make a difference because I am not going to go through that only to be miserable. Wondering if I should call and just bite the bullet and start now? Or wait my "follow up" appointment at the end of the month and let them know, the meds were a total failure, I ended up at the Minute Clinic twice, and Urgent care once and a total of 7 prescriptions (1 the first visit, 2 the second, and 4 the 3rd) later, I am finally able to go the morning without a box of tissues or need a cough drop (or cough up phlegm- sorry). So while my cough syrup tastes like some sort of butterscotch rum "shot" mixture (glad I didn't go with the codeine one!!) I am glad I can work and not have people look at me as though HAZMAT might need to pay me a visit. -Maybe they should just to be on the safe side. Trust me I have sprayed enough Lysol at work that I am pretty sure I have napalmed every germ from here back to Pinellas. Can't be too careful. I guess my biggest issue is the shots... I was SO happy when I was able to stop taking shots for my MS. With muscle atrophy in my arms and legs, I am NOT looking forward to this. So yeah... For the record- I do NOT want anything NEXT! Well maybe to lost 10 pounds, but only if its healthy, I don't need to lose a 10lbs tumor and have that scare hang over me. Plus, I have enough scars! Unless I get a tummy tuck out of the deal- FORGET IT!! Hope you enjoy the little glances "Behind the scenes of MS" it isn't always pretty, but it's LIVING! And that's most important! Leave a comment, let me know your thoughts, experiences and what you have done to "get through"... Keep on being a warrior!

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Angry

The tears streams down my face faster than I could control. I felt like a complete total failure as the dentist confirmed what the hygienist said so matter of factly, as if it were no big deal. My broken filling had affected the bone around the tooth, and after 7 years of neglect, it was too late. The worst part, I had already planned it out. Cleaning this month, root canal and crown the following month. But as the tears flowed the dentist seemed to not understand my loss. But then he didn't understand why it had been over 7 years. He didn't realize that as a mother in those years I now have 2 kids that went through braces, 3 kids that had all 4 wisdom teeth out (2 that had 4 more), that I had my gallbladder removed. Or that sitting in a chair while they take a wire and use an xray to guide it to through your breast while talking to you and telling you everything will be fine- the wire helps guarantee they don't have to remove as much... Yeah, I did fix my other tooth when I couldn't take it anymore. I know, 10 years in the field and I was "that person". But I put everyone first. Made sure everyone got the glasses they needed. And yes, I know, I am blessed to have had an FSA account. But it was gone! And any time I needed it for my tooth... It was gone... I had to hope for the next year and pray my MS didn't take a turn for the worse or my meds didn't double in price. Tomorrow I am putting up a fight. It's early in the year. And while I have money, I am fighting for a bone graft! MS or not- I deserve some one to try. But for now, I am ANGRY! Angry at myself for letting it get like this, angry that I had to make choices in my health care and put priorities on what was most important at the cost of other things. And angry that my frustration at the situation is not completely understood.