Friday, October 11, 2013


My heart warms as more and more communities are coming together to support each other in the battle of find a cure for what ails us. So often people act as though if you support one group it will come at the cost of another. What most fail to understand is that often so many issues mirror others and that is what causes Dr.s to delay giving correct diagnosis. Image being told you could have a brain tumor or MS. Which would you want? Really? I'm being serious! While one could be serious enough to kill you during the treatment, the other has no cure and is a long-term sometimes painfull reminder of no hope. Hmm... Possible death or life of no hope. Who would've pick the tumor? Yeah that was me back in 2004! 
I can still hear myself immediately after the MRI, looking at the technition and saying, "so I've got a big grapefruit tumor right?" He looked at me like I was nuts. I mean who serious prays for a tumor, yeah this girl! But there I was rationalizing that an ice cream scooper, scar, flowers, and some gifts (people better get me gifts if I'm getting my head cut) later I'd be back to me. I figured I'd even through in a case of amnesia saying I had no clue what a dishwasher, vacuum cleaner, or broom was... Then I figured people knew I was back! Oh well! But alas... As the story goes, no grapefruit! 
I am still amazed to this day how some illnesses are "rated". I call it traction. I would never look at someone and say oh you ONLY have.... Seriously? I don't have it so how could I know what they have to down play it? Unless they are complaining about getting glue rather than stitches. At that point, seeing my scars from stitches gone bad that had to be stapled, yet glue... Shut up! So when you've been there, walked a mile in there shoes, then yes, you get it. But if you have no clue what it's like to depend on people to help you to the bathroom (I only have because of surgeries but not regularly) then I suggest not telling people you know how they feel. If you have no idea or the concept of fighting to stay awake due to horrible fatigue, battling numbness, or having pain one day that's so intense you just cry only for it to be gone a few days later- then you don't know what it's like to live Behind the scenes of MS.
But I'm a warrior, so I'm not going anywhere!